Monday, September 26, 2011

Pleasures, Pitfalls and Subtleties of Online Dating



Years ago... many years ago, Damion, a dear friend of mine, and I were engaged in an after-dinner conversation at his folks' house. He casually posed to me question: What makes you most happy? He asked it naturally, in the flow of our dialogue, but I could tell our talk was taking a turn. Damion meant for me to really reflect.

I hadn't really considered that question more than just casually before. I knew "sports" or "learning" or "hanging out" would not do. I mulled it over for a long minute.

"MJ," Damion interceded, "let me help you out, because I know your answer is the same as mine. Relationships. That's what makes me most happy. I know you and I know that's your answer too."

He was right. Relationships, good, healthy relationships, make me most happy.

For years, and often, I have considered the substance of that youthful conversation. Like Damion knew, I am inclined to valuing and finding happiness in all my personal relationships. The answer to his question did not necessarily alter my natural behavior. It simply made me aware of its place my life. It is in the top place.

And of all my relationships, the ones I share with my wife and children are the most important. I am especially careful to devote my time to them, to bend for them, to nurture them, and to make up with them. I would that everyone--everyone--could have a lover (and family when possible) that accepts and gives love like the love in my family life. I want you to have that.

Finding such a partner is simple for some, but a challenge for many. It may take years, like it took me. Parties, dances, clubs, blind dates, social gatherings, classes and hallways, your parents' friends' son or daughter, supermarkets, coffeehouses, and, well, I know you know...

But are you dating online too? I hope you are. I dated online for years, and along the way, I became intimate with the pitfalls, pleasures, and subtleties of the craft. I want to tell you, unequivocally, that dating online is positively the best way initiate a meaningful relationship. And that goes double for those with an active, full life.

Online is how I met my wife.

If you give me your eyes and ears, if you open your mind, and if you sincerely give your heart to the task, I can and will show you how you can successfully date online too.

MJ



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