Monday, December 19, 2011

Be the Best Friend, Girlfriend




Don't try too hard to be one of the guys

If you and your boyfriend's friends enjoy the same activities like sports and a good microbrew then good for you! But if you've missed a couple world championships and are trying to talk about the odds of your "favorite team" getting to the playoffs I would stop while you're ahead. Find common interests that you really do share, like a particular book or television show. Inquire about a hobby that they take part in and you find genuinely interesting. Guys aren't so different from us; your man's friends will love to talk about their latest venture or purchase!

Offer to broaden the social circle

If your boyfriend's friends are single offer to bring around a group of your single girlfriends to the next BBQ or party. Don't worry, this doesn't mean you have to play matchmaker; it just shows that you are willing to mesh your world with that of your bf's. Plus it shows that you like your guy's friends enough to trust them with them your friends.

Tread softly

Your boyfriend's friends were there before you and if you leave they'll be around after. Until you prove yourself to be a permanent fixture in your man's life his friends might not treat you with the respect that you think that you deserve. This is where you have to show some major maturity and patience. You also have to realize that this behavior might not be so much their fault as it might be your boyfriend's. Who knows how many "girlfriend introductions" they've been through? So before you start in on how your boyfriend needs to get all new friends, give your relationship a little time to grow.

Note: I'm not condoning bad friend behavior I'm just saying that it happens. It's existence doesn't warrant it. Your boyfriend should always stand-up for your when these situations occur no matter how long you have or haven't been dating. If this doesn't happen it is time to cut your losses.

Watch your flirtation

Keep this in mind when you are hanging out and there is alcohol involved. What might be innocent conversation to you might come off to your dude's friends as excessive flirting. The last thing that you want is the homies thinking something about you that just isn't true. This is a good rule of thumb whenever you are in a group with mostly guys: watch what you drink and what you wear. No one wants a "whoo-whoo" girl.

Show interest

Invite your guy and his friends to something that your friends are planning or that you have planned personally. Better yet, plan something around an idea that you know your man and his pack enjoy doing. This shows that you are in tune to their personalities and interests.

Don't be a push-over

If there is ever a situation where you find yourself uncomfortable and your boyfriend can't immediately come to your rescue, i.e. a joke has gone too far, someone has hurt your feelings etc...make sure that you stand up for yourself. You don't need to be bitchy or cry you just need to be assertive and let them know that although you all are now friends there are certain lines that should never be crossed. Guys respect powerful woman and walk over weak ones. You never want to be the latter.

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