Some of you may be thinking I know exactly why she won't date me. You think things like: I'm not super rich, good looking, and I still live with my parents.
As you think these things, you might even start to feel a little anger, resentment or frustration well up inside you. Some thoughts that may cross your mind are, "What makes women think that they can be so entitled?" or "Why are women so superficial?"
And, the last thought that might run through your mind is, "I might as well put off dating women until I get super rich, good looking, and get my own place."
But you don't like that thought because what you want is a woman right now. What you want is to have the key to being successful with women right now. In fact, you wanted it yesterday.
So, what are the real 3 reasons why a woman wouldn't want to date you?
Well, despite the common beliefs that all women want are financial security and a good looking man, this is in fact FAR from what they truly want in a man.
1. You have no self direction
This is about personal autonomy and self motivation. A women in attracted to a man who knows what he wants and will do anything and everything to get it (and is in the process of doing it). This could be the pursuit of a career/dream and it could even be in the pursuit of her. Whether a woman wants you for one night or for a lifetime, she still wants to see the general direction in which?she? is headed. More often than not, women are looking for a man who will suit her now and in the long-term. Your vision will give her a snapshot of how your life could possibly be together. You know how in rom-coms how the woman starts planning the wedding after the first date? Despite a little bit of exaggeration, a lot of women ACTUALLY do that!
What to do about it: What is something that really gets you excited? Think back to when you were just a child, and you thought the world was your oyster. It's time to re-harness those dreams and take little steps towards it (or leaps and bounds, if you like). Yes, it may be a little scary, yes you might have to put yourself out there, but at least you know you are giving your dreams and your passions the best shot possible. I'm sure that you have felt inspired by some of the people living their dreams, and women will feel a sense of strength and courage from you when you do the same.
2. You don't know how to lead
If you can't even lead in your own life, then it makes it very difficult to lead a woman. When a woman trusts a man enough to lead various interactions and throughout the dating interactions, it helps her surrender and revel in her own femininity. When this happens, you get the best and most natural version of a woman who is fun, carefree, relaxed, and appreciative. In fact, you will both feel pretty good when this happens. However, if the woman feels like she needs to lead all the interactions (and she can), then she will not be able to access that feminine energy and you will not be able to experience her in her true nature.
What to do about it: Part of leadership is developing some assertiveness skills, some boundaries that are all backed by a sense of self worth. If you believe you are worthy, it's EASY to ask for what you want. It's easy to say "no." It's easy to lead interactions. The best way to practice this is to start small. Ask yourself the questions, "Where in my life could I practice more assertiveness?" or "Where in my life could I put up more boundaries?" You might find that it's a friend or colleague who always takes advantage of your kindness. Or it could be never speaking up at a board meeting about what you think would really benefit the company. Whatever it is, make a point to start speaking up or putting your foot down about that. This will help start momentum, boost your self esteem, and help you do more of that throughout the rest of your life and with women.
3. You are completely self absorbed
There is a difference between knowing what you want in your life vs. being so self absorbed about it that you don't communicate with this woman down a two way street. Self absorption can sneak in very easily. And, if a woman finds that you are too obsessed with yourself (or overly concerned about yourself) and no one else until she sees more heart and concern for someone other than yourself, she will quickly write you off as a bad investment.
What to do about it: Throughout your interactions with her, make sure to ask her questions with a mixture of fun and deep questions. For an example a fun question could be, "If you have to pick between gifts and attention which one would it be?" - and have fun teasing her for her answer. For a more deep question, you could ask her, "What is the one most important thing, person, place, idea in your life?" Doing this will remove the attention off you and onto her. It will also demonstrate a genuine interest in who she is. And best of all, you get to evaluate this woman based on her answers to see if SHE is someone you would want to get to know better.
These three components are incredibly important in the attraction/dating process, as well as for building a solid relationship. And, the best part is that these are all things that are completely under your control. Stop listening to all the lame excuses that other people tell you about what women really want and start actively moving towards changing your reality when it comes to women. Channel any frustration you have into becoming a better more confident, self motivated, and assertive man.
You can do it.
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