Monday, October 10, 2011

The Importance Of Social Proof




Social proof...this is how the alpha males and the beta males are determined in a group. If you treat someone like a scrub or lowest on the totem pole of the group, the new people who come into the group will do the same. This is the main reason why you don't want to treat your friends like trash around new people. The new people will treat them like trash as well. I'm gonna tell you something real quick...once new people establish you as the lowest person on the totem pole then it will said and done that you are the lowest on the totem pole of the group. I know you want to get along with everyone in the group and don't want to rock the boat, but your group must respect you in order for other people who enter the group do the same. Let me give you an example:

Let's say that you and one friend go and meet some new people. The new people don't know either one of you and in every group there are always alpha males or beta males more or less. If you act weak and your friend makes fun of you in a non-friendly way then you will be selected as the person to make fun of in the group. When more new people enter the group it will be a vicious cycle that you cannot get out of.

Now there are ways to get out of the vicious cycle and have the social proof that you are not the lowest on the totem pole and here they are:

Check any form of disrespect either subtle or overt. As friends, you will poke fun at each other but there will times that you have to draw a line. So you want to pull your friends to the side and let them know that you don't like the way they treat you. The earlier you do this the more solidified it becomes. Anytime the person does it call them on it. There must be consistency to let people know that you're serious.

Learn how to "snap" on people. This may be a new term to some of you, but when I use snap in this example, I'm not talking about the thing you do with your fingers. I'm talking about saying a comment that will make the person think twice before they insult you. The more factual it is, the more power it will have. You may know this as a "zinger" or "busting someone's balls". Making fun of someone in a playful way shows that you can defend yourself and you won't look like a victim when others do it to you.

Carry yourself in a "no BS" manner. Have you ever noticed that people are intimidated by people who don't fall for the BS or won't put up with BS. This intimidation turns into respect once you get to know the person. People will get their act together around if you are a "no BS" person.

In order for you to become a person with high social status or build up your social status, you must not worry about making friends and not fear losing fake friends. If your awareness is high and you call people on their BS then you're gonna have people around you who respect you. You're gonna have new people who come into the group and see you as the alpha male. You don't have to be mean or ruthless, it just means you don't let people pull the wool over your eyes. If you're not this type of person then you have to develop it so, in time, it will be a part of you and you will get better results and have the social proof of the alpha males.

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