Seems to me that there is a lot of misinformation around regarding what is good dating practice for guys.
Just the other night I was out at a local restaurant with my lady enjoying my steak and a few of their finest beverages. From my vantage point against the wall I happened to have a good view of the other diners.
Several of which were clearly on first dates.
Now I love to watch people in general. But watching people on dates is the most fun people watching there is. The awkwardness, the nervous laughter.
But then there are the odd few who are doing things the right way. The woman is laughing and touching the guy, and they are clearly having a good time.
It reminds me of when I used to be like the first couple. Going the classic route. Dinner and Movie. Not knowing what to say. Not knowing if I should touch her on the leg or not. Wondering what she's thinking.
I shudder at the thought. You see, once you know how to date in the right way, you 'feel it' when it's wrong. Even when you're just sitting back and watching others.
So without further ado here are:
The 5 most important rules of successful dating
1. Be a gentleman, dress tidy, and have manners. Chivalry is not dead, it's just rare.
When you do small things like open (and hold) doors for women, pull out chairs for them and in general have proper manners. It immediately sets you above almost every other guy she has ever dated before.
If you look like a slob, and talk like a sailor (on a first date at least), you're off to a bad start.
2. What to talk about? Now this is one of the big problems a lot of guys get into. First of all it's not good to be completely tongue-tied. But to compensate for this, many guys go completely the other way and start talking almost non-stop... about themselves. This is even worse.
So the real question is... how to be an interesting date, right? I'll tell you the secret right here.
To be interesting, be interested.
This should be easy once you have the right mindset (see point #3 below). Ask questions about her life. Start with the usual ones... but then dig deeper. Look at her while she speaks, nod along with her. Smile when she makes a point, or says something funny. Don't be an interrogator. Instead use the relate and reflect method.
Relate and reflect means... relate whatever she has just said to you, to your life or your experience with that, and then ask her another question which digs a little deeper. This helps you avoid becoming the police interrogator who is doing nothing but asking question, question, question question.
Another key to this is to hold back information about yourself. Don't immediately spill your life story. Make her work for it a bit. It'll give you more of an air of mystery (which women love).
3. Forget trying to be perfect. Stop trying to hide your flaws, the things that make you human. The truth is, that being perfect is perfectly BORING!
And there is one thing that women hate more than anything on a date is to be bored.
The lawyer who is making $150k with the perfect abs and is 6'3" tall with perfect tan and shiny white teeth is not interesting. So don't try to be perfect.
First, our flaws, our eccentricities are what make us interesting. It's what gives us 'personality'.
Plus, and this is important, when you are confident despite your flaws, and you don't try to hide them or be ashamed. This increases attraction beyond belief.
The mindset you want to have is that you are spending time with her to (A) Have fun for yourself and (B) See if she meets your standards.
You aren't trying to impress her with your greatness. Assume that she wants you, that she is into you and she will live up to your expectations.
4. Relax. When you're not trying to be perfect, it's much easier. But this is NOT life or death. Have fun with it!
5. Be a man. This means you should make the decisions. Take charge. Don't ask her where she'd like to go. Tell her where you're going and when you'll pick her up.
Do things and go places that you enjoy. Especially at this stage of the game, take her along for the ride. Don't put the responsibility for the success of the date on her.
And finally, the age-old question. Should you pay? Or should you split the bill? For this I will defer to the wisdom of The Most Interesting Man In The World:
"When it comes to women, you usually get what you pay for."
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