To begin setting up your profile I will assume that you have chosen a site that best suits your needs. As discussed in previous articles, there are a variety of different Online Dating sites and your choice should be based not only on your needs but also on the basis that there are likely to be members that match your ideal. Whether it's a general dating site, a niche dating site or other variant it must be the one that is most likely to have members of the type you are looking for.
Although it's tempting to do, I always recommend avoiding using existing Online Dating profiles as templates for your own. It's the easy way out and although they may provide inspiration you run the risk of presenting yourself as one of the heard. Picture if you will a paddock full of dairy cows, they all basically look the same don't they? This is how your profile will look if you make the mistake of using other profiles as a guide. It's imperative that you stand out from the crowd and the best way to do this is by creating something original. It will say more about you and in the long run that is the desired result. I know it sounds like you're on your own but I would always encourage you to have faith in yourself. No one knows you better than you! Don't be afraid to ask a friend to look it over before posting but keep in mind that your friend is not your intended audience.
Your next point of order is a critical step in the process. You must choose a unique and catchy User Name (or handle). Apart from your profile picture this is the first thing people will associate with you. Unless you're setting up on casual sex style site, don't pick a handle that has sexual connotations. As funny or quirky as it may appear to you, the statistics show they simply don't work. It's okay to be a little suggestive if your target audience is users seeking casual encounters but in all other scenarios avoid the sexual implications like the plague. It's also important to use a name that you wouldn't have used in other areas of your life (i.e. your facebook handle). Create a title you will find easy to remember, that will be used only for the dating site. Never use your own name or anything remotely similar, search engines are easy to use and anyone with half a brain can perform all sorts of personal research on you before they even make contact. Maintain as much mystery as possible and stay safe in the process.
When you begin to arrange your profile structure make sure you place the appropriate information in the right spots. Don't include details about the latest movie you have seen in a paragraph describing yourself. Organize your profile so that it reads easily and that the information you provide is related to the message you are trying to get across. If you want to advise someone about your career then keep it simple and in a place of its own. Define your favorite movies, books, and TV shows by all means, but achieve this in an orderly manner, and don't try to use these items to describe yourself. What you watch and read doesn't define who you are.
Avoiding negatives in your profile is imperative, no matter how tempting it is to get the message across about the things you don't want or like. Any negativity such as the word 'never' will present poorly to any potential partners. It may seem a good idea at the time but providing a shopping list of the things you don't want is always going to look bad. Focus on the attributes you do want in a partner, the positive qualities that you look for in person. Suggesting that you could never be with someone who wasn't financially secure may lead those reading your profile to believe you are a gold digger. It may not be the case at all but the simple fact is people tend to read between the lines and draw their own conclusions.
Try to avoid addressing the reader directly when you are describing your ideal partner. Often this will present like you are talking to a number of different people at the same time and can sound a little disingenuous. Refrain from using the word you, as though you're addressing someone directly. Be more general in your delivery and try using words like 'he' or 'she'. Take the following for example: "She enjoys a nice meal with good conversation" or "he has a sense of humor and likes to explore new places". Read those two phrases aloud and replace the he and she with 'you' and see how much worse it sounds. It's a small point but makes a world of difference.
Always consider that your profile is a potential partners first impression of you. It's critical that this first impression is positive and many experts suggest this is especially the case with Online Dating. I am of the belief that last impressions are equally as important. It's one thing to grab someone's attention with a fabulous opening line but it's imperative to end on a positive note also. I have read so many profiles over the years that have concluded with a negative statement. All that hard work gone to waste, as the final point your reader takes away with them is on a downward slide. Make the most of your final comment, and create a little mystery that may draw the desired attention. Perhaps finish with something funny or at the very least something up beat that you are interested in. First impressions are important but last impressions are often the thing that will generate a reason or desire to contact you.
Rather than make generalizations in your profile like "I'm a good listener" or "I have a generous nature", try telling a story about yourself. A story that eludes to something unique about you, perhaps about an activity you enjoy that may not be commonly engaged in. What I am trying to say here is "avoid the abstracts!". Keep your focus on the tangible subjects. For example: "I like skydiving and enjoy the buzz of free falling from 30,000 feet". Making a statement like this creates interest. Granted, skydiving may not be everyone's cup of tea but it certainly sparks excitement and gives potential dates an opportunity to ask you a question. It helps break the ice and often that's half the battle.
I always try to impress upon those who ask for help the importance of getting the length or volume of your profile right. Not enough information will turn people off and too much will most likely find them disinterested and moving on before they finish. So what is the perfect profile size? It's a little ambiguous but there's a simple method to apply to your completed work. Make your initial assessment of your personal description, that's the part of the profile where you have spoken purely about yourself. Carefully read through the section as you would read any members profile. Time how long it took from start to finish. If it took longer than two minutes it's time to start culling. Studies have shown that this is about the maximum length of time members are prepared to spend on this part of the profile. My simple advice is to try and keep it to two or maybe three paragraphs. The time allowance for the 'ideal partner' and other sections of your profile is even less so keep these to a few sentences, but make them work. Take every precaution to ensure your reader doesn't get bored and make every attempt to keep them entertained.
Use recent photos at all times as no one is interested in what you used to look like. It's good practice to update them every so often to draw attention to your profile. Stagnant photos will get looked over more often than not when members conduct their searches, so if you have something new up from time to time you may just attract someone who might have overlooked you in the past. Make sure they clearly depict you, not half a dozen of your friends on a bender. Keep your gallery to between 3 and 6 photos and ensure that at least one is a full body shot. Photos of you at a distance may create interest in a particular setting but best advice is to keep the shots close so that anyone viewing your profile doesn't have to strain to get a glimpse of you. The main profile photo is the key weapon in your Online Dating profile. Select it wisely and make sure that it's eye catching. This picture will provide the most likely reason for someone to click through to read your profile.
One of the most common problems that appear in dating profiles is repeating information. Always keep in mind that your reader is only likely to stop by for a minute or two. They are, after all scanning through hundreds if not thousands of options so the last thing they want to deal with is you repeating yourself over and over. Most sites offer profile facilities to define standard information in the form of a questionnaire. Ticking the boxes if you like! This is useful to get across some of the basics about yourself so reserve the about me section for the interesting details. Any information covered in the questionnaire should be considered dealt with so there is no need to mention it again anywhere else in the profile.
We have covered most of the major issues above but certainly not all. I can't stress enough the importance of your profile. A well structured and informative profile will almost certainly guarantee a successful online dating experience. Take time to develop it and review and edit the profile several times before submission. All the time you invest at this early stage will prove extremely advantageous in the months and years ahead.
No comments:
Post a Comment