As a society, how have we managed to accomplish life details without the modern conveniences of communication technology as we see it today? And now with just a click of a button we can speak and view our loved ones on a computer screen from across the country, or relate information to the masses at an instant. The ability to communicate and access information on a dime has undoubtedly made living much easier and our time much more efficient. And even though modern technology has revolutionized the way we connect to the world, it is not the catalyst to building or maintaining relationships.
Communication is rooted on human interaction and when disengaged from physical connection, intended interpretation can be distorted. Studies have shown that a significant amount of communication is non-verbal. facial expressions, voice tone and body language all correspond to interpret a person's true emotion. We can easily fall into the trap of becoming lazy communicators as a result of the conveniences in texting, emailing, IM and all those great finger talking gadgets. To build successful relationships we need to communicate effectively and at the same time set our standards for how we choose others to communicate with us. The Rule of Thumb should be: Texting is for relating logistical information or relating basic information only and not for carrying conversations. For example; "The cafe is located in the City of Orange:, or "Thank you for dinner had a wonderful evening, hope to see you soon".
I received an email from a reader who had a 2 year relationship with a partner who insisted on texting 80% of their conversations. After some time and with the obvious that a pattern had been developed, she started purposely not responding and calling him right back. To her dismay, he would not pick up the calls, then respond once again with just the texting. As time passed and the behavior continued, her frustrations mounted and grew into mistrust. She came to discover that her partner of two years was married; a relationship developed out of lies and deception. Had she developed firm standards for herself early in the relationship, she would have discovered his deceptive nature immediately.
The following are texting etiquette tips when dating and/or developing a healthy relationship:
(1) Your first conversation should not be over texting, unless you are introducing yourself and arranging an available time to call.
(2) Dating arrangements should NEVER be made via texting, unless you would like to express a thought related to your upcoming date such as; "Looking forward to seeing you tonight".
(3) When texting your messages make them short and clear in thought. One mistyped or missing word can change your intended meaning, especially when under the influence of liquid courage, you may wake the next morning to regret letting your fingers do the talking.
(4) No SEXTING before monogamy!
(5) NEVER express an emotion or a relationship quarrel over texting; avoid formalities for they should be properly handled in person. Be classy!
(6) Under no circumstance what so ever should you ever break off a relationship via texting, facebook, email, IM or any other form of electronic communication.
Most importantly, if your partner is only available to you through texting, I suggest you check your "Red Flag" detection meter.
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