The dynamics of parenthood has definitely changed its course through time. Being a single parent now days is not necessarily a result of a divorce; many women/men are choosing to have children out of wed-lock and many goal driven individuals are choosing to have children at a later stage in life or not at all. And then you have the "oops" baby making folks that have, for whatever reason, never heard of a condom (Red Flag Alert). Whichever circumstance identifies you, whether you're a divorced, widowed or an adoptee single mother or father, it does not make you exempt from the dating world or immune to sharing your life with someone other than your child. Single parents have the right and deserve to be in a loving relationship just like anyone else. With preparation and well-defined priorities, you can enjoy a blissful relationship without compromising your role as a parent.
The following are some tips to help guide single parents back into the platform of occupational dating:
Be Strait Forward and Honest from the Start
Some people prefer not to disclose they have a child until the first date, for it allows that other person an opportunity to get to know you without all those misconceptions of being a single parent. If asked previously, then yes absolutely discuss with limited disclosure; the last thing you want is to be feeding information to a pedophile. And never take it personal if he/she is not interested in dating you, it's a personal choice that should be respected. Not everybody has the parenting gene!
Caring for My Toddler Always Comes First
In Single Parent Dating 101, telling your potential life partner that your child comes first no matter what is not only a huge RED FLAG but unhealthy and unrealistic standards to live by. It is the care of a child that takes precedence over anything else, more so during the first 5 primary development years of a child's life. A potential relationship will never evolve if your date feels like there is no hope in ever becoming #1, in which a spouse is entitled to have. Choosing not to date till your child is of school age is a personal decision you will have to make based on your child's needs and accessibility to suitable care. It is important to be mindful that infant/ toddlers needs are different from a school age children for they require additional supervision, nurturing and guidance. The best part is that it is only temporary and in no time your children will be grown and more independent, leaving you more autonomy over your social dating life.
Date Having Difficult Time Accepting
Dating a single parent with a toddler may not be much of a big deal for some folks, especially if you are a parent of a young child yourself. However, for many the idea of taking on the responsibility of an instant family is far from appealing. Choosing to date someone with or without children should be a defined established standard, which should be addressed at the beginning and not well into a relationship when emotional investments have been made. If your partner seems reluctant or on the fence or just disengaged from the idea that you're a parent (no consideration for your time and schedule), reconsider the relationship; allowing time to pass in hopes that they will have a change of heart or grow into the idea, is taking a very risky gamble with your emotions.
Date Respectfully! Remember Your Modeling Behavior for Your Child
Falling for that someone special is exciting and adventurous, as well as time-consuming. A great date is best enjoyed knowing you have the peace of mind that your child has been attended to and is being cared for by a great and trustworthy provider. Keep your parenthood life separate from your social dating life until you are certain that your partner is a keeper and worthy of sharing your most precious life treasures. Always keep in mind that children absorb everything they hear and see; your actions will be the blueprint to their future relationships.
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